A Love Letter To My Mom

Would that I could turn to you, Mom,

when you were just 35,

and in the throes of an internal crisis,

and say to you, “It’ll be okay, Mom”.

I understand now why

you laid on the newly carpeted floor

And listened to Hey Jude,

over and over and over again.

I understand now why you laid on the couch

Asking me to bring you the blue pill

. . . or the pink one

Your doctor called it “nerves”,

but it was something much more.

One day they will have a name for your illness

It is called Depression,

and there will be help for it.

I know because I inherited it.

I understand now that you thought

the only road for you was AWAY

Away, for a while, so you could think, but that turned in to forever.

Away from the black clouds that enveloped you,

away from the claustrophobia that was inside your head.

Away from your family that loved and needed you.

You needed you; I understand that now, and it’s okay.

I wish I could turn to you, Mom, and tell you

One day the sun will shine again in your mind

And you will be genuinely happy.

Judi Opager

May 19, 2020