A Real Norwegian Sendoff

A circling plane preparing for a landing on a frozen February runway in a deep Minnesota winter.

White smoke coming from snow covered chimneys against a white cloudy sky. A time to die.

Heart is shredding and dreading. He will not allow tears. Too much spice for a stoic 6’3” Norwegian Viking.

He wants a good Sina and Ole joke. He expects it. He misses his mom. He is joyful at the coming reunion.

Put on the big girl Norwegian panties. He’s sitting majestically in his chair, with an impish look on his face teasing the nurse beside him.

“You have to pick February to die, old man?” I question him. “You can’t do this in June or July?” He laughs like a loon; the nurse thinks I’ve lost my mind.

She begins to give him his at-home instructions. He hunches down imperceptively. I know he’s up to something because there’s a twinkle in his eye.

“You can’t walk up and down stairs.” The nurse instructs him. “WHAT???”, he shouts back, “WHAT DID SHE SAY?” – his hearing is perfectly sound. I repeat her instructions in a loud voice.

Wondering what he’s up to, “Take your medicine on time”, she says, and again, “WHAT?? SHE’S MUMBLING”, he says with a smile playing about his lips.

“YOU MUST TAKE YOUR MEDICINE ON TIME”, I repeat loudly, knowing full well he heard her the first time. Finally, she says to him, “You cannot lift anything heavier than 5 pounds.” Right on cue, “WHAT? WHAT’S SHE SAYING??”, he looks at me innocently.

“DADDY”, I say in a near shout now, feeling quite stupid, “SHE SAID YOU CANNOT LIFT ANYTHING HEAVIER THAN 5 POUNDS.” He hunched down even further into his chair, then looked up at the nurse and said, “WELL THEN I GUESS I’LL JUST HAVE TO SQUAT TO PEE!!!!”

Judi Opager

3/13/2021